I was 23 - almost 24 - when I moved to LA. Salah had been at Liverpool 2 ½ years, which feel extremely bizarre because even though I only started really watching him at Liverpool on and after the defeat at the Champion League final in 2018, theres a real density to the memories I have of him from that one season he played during my last year in DC. It just does not make emotional sense that he played about two thirds of his Liverpool career while I was living here, even though the brass tacks of it do obviously make sense as far as changes in the team (Sadio, Firmino, Hendo, Fab, Matip leaving, Darwin and Luis coming and leaving, Klopp leaving, Jota passing away) and changes in my personal life or the world around me (break up, COVID, various jobs and my first office job, going on tour, girlfriend, genocide, leaving job, playing shows). It felt like the build up to the Champions League win in the summer of 2019 was long and fatiguing. I remember being 3-0 to Barca and I remember working on my thesis project watching Trent take the corner. I was on a road trip with my closest friends. We had stopped in Vegas on the way to LA from Arizona. Timmy and I went to a pub to watch the final, Sheikh and Farida slept in the car.

I imagine as you get older, time feels accelerated because of the responsibility and, if you’re not asleep at the wheel, added lucidity. I feel more aware of the flavor and theme of each passing year, though my ability to perceive how “far” they are from the present is like an altitude gauge on a plan constantly cycling through readings.

You can’t stop aging. You can’t prevent things from changing. It moves towards you slowly and you’re given the benefit of that time to accept it. As this team that really brought me into watching football changed gradually, with players I really loved fading from view, exiting my perception, I can’t help but feel like I failed to notice. August would come around and you would continue sort of as normal - a new cycle to redeem disappointment or shoot for even higher - because it’s sort of senseless to mourn someone who simply had a career shift and the match day schedule is too quick anyway.

This is where the perception of time and it’s movement is tricky. It is slow and far away but it is constant and at some point the pressure of immediacy makes us neglect the steady creep pulling you, gently dragging you to the finish line. If you are living your life you will probably miss it approaching. If you are half-living or half-awake you may lose track of a lot of things that just won’t wait for you to notice. You might lose track of them anyway.

I have already been living away from my home for over a decade and I don’t really have an explanation. One thing sort of led to another, one opportunity rolled into the next. I’m not mad at that, just strange to observe. I feel like I remember the color of each of those years! Like that Liverpool team, my life has slowly changed one bit at a time to where it looks very different from what it was when I started. I had hoped that maybe some things could stay the same, that I could tune in on the weekend and watch a group of 11 men play a game that I like. That it could be the same 11 men that once made me feel really excited when I hadn’t had too much to be excited about. That one of those 11 men would be wreaking absolute havoc on any defensive line, and happened to be from the place i’m from and looked like me. Now, I interrogate why I am so attached to this idea of consistency and I realize it’s because I seek the promise of this joy morphing into other joy. No such luck 😂

I’ve had a lot to do so I haven’t had as much time to watch as i’d like to. I am missing these games because I am doing what I think will let me evolve into who I aim to be. Who will I be when the next generation comes around? Everything is more precious and wonderful because of this finitude.

Three Liverpool players will remain from that golden generation - Alisson, Joe Gomez, Van Dijk - after Salah and Robbo play their final game in Red. Only a matter of time before the rest of the old guard pass the torch and transition away. A new chapter of my love for football through this team will begin, though I will be saddened by this past life that faded away before I blinked.

I was 23 - almost 24 - when I moved to LA. Salah had been at Liverpool 2 ½ years, which feel extremely bizarre because even though I only started really watching him at Liverpool on and after the defeat at the Champion League final in 2018, theres a real density to the memories I have of him from that one season he played during my last year in DC. It just does not make emotional sense that he played about two thirds of his Liverpool career while I was living here, even though the brass tacks of it do obviously make sense as far as changes in the team (Sadio, Firmino, Hendo, Fab, Matip leaving, Darwin and Luis coming and leaving, Klopp leaving, Jota passing away) and changes in my personal life or the world around me (break up, COVID, various jobs and my first office job, going on tour, girlfriend, genocide, leaving job, playing shows). It felt like the build up to the Champions League win in the summer of 2019 was long and fatiguing. I remember being 3-0 to Barca and I remember working on my thesis project watching Trent take the corner. I was on a road trip with my closest friends. We had stopped in Vegas on the way to LA from Arizona. Timmy and I went to a pub to watch the final, Sheikh and Farida slept in the car.

I imagine as you get older, time feels accelerated because of the responsibility and, if you’re not asleep at the wheel, added lucidity. I feel more aware of the flavor and theme of each passing year, though my ability to perceive how “far” they are from the present is like an altitude gauge on a plan constantly cycling through readings.

You can’t stop aging. You can’t prevent things from changing. It moves towards you slowly and you’re given the benefit of that time to accept it. As this team that really brought me into watching football changed gradually, with players I really loved fading from view, exiting my perception, I can’t help but feel like I failed to notice. August would come around and you would continue sort of as normal - a new cycle to redeem disappointment or shoot for even higher - because it’s sort of senseless to mourn someone who simply had a career shift and the match day schedule is too quick anyway.

This is where the perception of time and it’s movement is tricky. It is slow and far away but it is constant and at some point the pressure of immediacy makes us neglect the steady creep pulling you, gently dragging you to the finish line. If you are living your life you will probably miss it approaching. If you are half-living or half-awake you may lose track of a lot of things that just won’t wait for you to notice. You might lose track of them anyway.

I have already been living away from my home for over a decade and I don’t really have an explanation. One thing sort of led to another, one opportunity rolled into the next. I’m not mad at that, just strange to observe. I feel like I remember the color of each of those years! Like that Liverpool team, my life has slowly changed one bit at a time to where it looks very different from what it was when I started. I had hoped that maybe some things could stay the same, that I could tune in on the weekend and watch a group of 11 men play a game that I like. That it could be the same 11 men that once made me feel really excited when I hadn’t had too much to be excited about. That one of those 11 men would be wreaking absolute havoc on any defensive line, and happened to be from the place i’m from and looked like me. Now, I interrogate why I am so attached to this idea of consistency and I realize it’s because I seek the promise of this joy morphing into other joy. No such luck 😂

I’ve had a lot to do so I haven’t had as much time to watch as i’d like to. I am missing these games because I am doing what I think will let me evolve into who I aim to be. Who will I be when the next generation comes around? Everything is more precious and wonderful because of this finitude.

Three Liverpool players will remain from that golden generation - Alisson, Joe Gomez, Van Dijk - after Salah and Robbo play their final game in Red. Only a matter of time before the rest of the old guard pass the torch and transition away. A new chapter of my love for football through this team will begin, though I will be saddened by this past life that faded away before I blinked.