above: cutie naked lady from a moomin book, popped up searching "hole" in my camera roll looking for media on the subject. i took this two octobers ago in the barnes and noble at the grove shopping center with the intention of getting this little lady tattooed. perhaps i still will.

i don't recall all of the story but i believe the moral of it was that the lion got himself dug into a hole by throwing sand at his adversary. classic.

fallwinter2002girl's graph:

if the thing of the hole is that it creates a mound, or is unintentionally created via making a mound, if they are the same, if matter cannot be created or destroyed and we are just rearranging stuff, then the object of the game is to rearrange the stuff in the most beautiful, clear, and intentional way possible. when the materials are limited, when the parameters are set, the game becomes about execution.

every individual requires different circumstances to deliver, to execute well.

before i dive in to the topic, i have created a helpful graph where i have plotted my ideas. (because of the nature of my girl-graph, i would assume this is obvious but please take all of this as vibes/grains of salt; i have a two-year fashion degree and though i enjoy math i have no in-depth education in mathematics nor physics. so yeah just vibes. carry on.)

i'll start out by defining each of the terms:

hole: somewhere something isn't, something wanting

gap: a break in continuity, uncharted territory

mound: something built or accumulated

path: continuous movement in 1 or 2 directions. a path is on either side of the gap and also the thing that fills it.

a little breakdown of my logic:

these concepts are things we all encounter. i have placed them on the graph based on the aforementioned definitions. they are grouped by color according to the key above. please see examples below.

adventure typically happens between two continuous stretches of "normal" "regular" life. you go backpacking and you come back to the states. you go to the grocery store with your college roommates, a late night adventure, and then everyone is back in bed by 2-4am. so i've placed it high up, closer to gap on the gap-path axis.

hopes and dreams are something to be made reality, far east on the hole-mound axis. they give direction. they are clear. to have a dream is to have a plan. this is path-like. i dreamt of moving to los angeles and getting my own apartment, on designing for mens and womens categories, trying big and trying indie. those dreams were a hole and are now a mound. i have found myself in the next hole and have to come up with a mound strategy – what is my new dream??

healing indicates there is potential for change, and typically only happens with time, moving forward and though it's not always linear it does travel in one direction. hole-path.

knowledge can have gaps, can fill gaps, can hold hands between two pieces of information. it compounds on itself and only grows. mound-gap.

practice is mound work. journaling is hole work.

love is the clearest path and the largest mound. (duh!)

these are sliding scales in both directions and i'm sure if i gave you this graph you would plot these points out a little differently. perhaps it would be revealing.

why make the girl-graph?

exploring this topic of holes and mounds has opened up a far-removed corner of my brain that i have not been in touch with since taking a geometry course over the summer in high school. i was in the class with my good friends, and we would do proofs in an air-conditioned room from 8am to noon, then go to the beach (my ideal summer). in doing math all summer, some helpful metaphors began to reveal themselves to me.

points, lines, rays.

moments, options, directions.

using what's there to fill in the gaps. the fact that all the information you need is right in front of you, you just have to reveal it through precise execution.

in the case of my girl-graph, a gap is a line segment, and a path is a line or a ray.

the hole and mound are broader, more round and all-encompassing extensions of these ideas. they are 3D, where the gap and path exist on a 2D plane only.

i personally thrive (meaning: execute my best work, feel complete autonomy, have fun) in the mound-gap quadrant, probably somewhere right around adventure. the feeling of building something is the greatest in the world (while some peers get their fulfillment from research and reflection). with a path too strict i begin to lose motivation or problem-solving because my process gets repetitive. like any person with a creative outlet, i need to experience gaps to come up with new stuff.

taking a look at this graph after completing it, i am even learning about myself. the fact that there is no green (relating to others) in the mound-path quadrant means perhaps i feel isolated when working a repetitive schedule, perhaps i tend to associate the grind with being by myself. not saying this is good or bad, it's just helpful to have self-knowledge.

currently, i would probably plot myself more on the hole side, near journaling maybe. the potential is present, i just haven't decided where to go. i will need to path heavy and then get back to my home quadrant. parabola.

i would be curious to know which quadrant(s) you, the reader, find yourself in now, and where you want to be.

mind the gap:

i like the phrase "mind the gap." to be acutely aware of a hole, a lack, something missing. when one is aware of the gaps in their resources/process/idea/knowledge, they can account for it properly. to mind the gap is to be awake. the most expressive and productive individuals mind the gap. i am constantly thinking about gaps in my knowledge, and that is the biggest hole in my life i am trying to fill, always.

that and the bottomless hole that is paying rent.

bonus imgs:

from "hole" camera roll search

above: "the hole in my soul" graffiti in dtla, spotted while walking home my new andrea bogdan chair. like that the pink chair matches the pink heart. this was a good day, i had been saving for and eyeing this chair for 2+ years. my kid will learn to tie their shoes in this chair.

above: lyric from one of my fav records. i don't remember who i was sending this to but i can almost guarantee it was for the jeans bit. i love mending clothes for my friends, one of the most intimate and caring acts in a friendship. care shown without speaking, literal repair for when words will not do it justice.

above: page from one of my fashion ref books. think i took this just before moving out and was doing research for my college entry portfolio. yohji yamamoto ss83. was looking for examples of textured monochrome looks ––where something lacks color or variation in material you have room to play with textural elements. once again, limitation puts the focus on execution.

above: screenshot for mv references, likely research for some short film or personal project i was working on, given this ss was taken after i graduated.

will be on a hole kick this week fs.