using the forthcoming days to practice discernment; discernment specifically as it toys with the pleasure-seeking centers of my mind. desires, needs, flecks of boredom. is this good for me? how can I healthily engage in practices that serve a greater purpose, but also offer that thoughtless sense of release? feels like second-nature to be a hedonist sometimes, over-indulging until the sickness settles in my throat. growing older has taught me what i deserve and it is far bigger than this.