how can i be consistent for others or anything, when im not even being consistent with myself? — how can i show up for you, when i wont even show up for myself?

since i was young i was very observant. it started when i was about 5/6 years old if i can recall. i was a very curious/freeflowing kid that didn’t pout. i observed my families situation around me. the good & bad—which we all a grow up with. I believe upbringing is unique to each human being because we all react & deal with our current realities at the time differently.. we find coping mechanisms, vices, or escapism early. this bubble is a lonely trip, as the next hit of dopamine is distracting you from what you really desire — connection/consistency/a slow brewed love, for life… as we grow (up) how do we not stumble into those moments of distractions, from what we truly desire.. maybe that’s the tale of the lonely man.. but it’s doesn’t have to be. — the mind is one of the greatest tools we have

overtime as we grow and heal from certain childhood experiences, a breakthrough happens in your 20s.. I’m currently 26 and officially moved to Hawai’i in December 2025 — this move has been uncomfortable yet gratifying. My breakthrough is simple — be consistent with myself, so I can be consistent with the world.. observe and be aware or myself & how I’m feeling when I feel these distractions. As this feeling is fleeting and the old habit is numbing & not fulfilling. — what is fulfilling is showing up for myself to show up with others.. it all starts in the mind and trickles down to the heart & spirit.

Actions speak louder the words

— thank you to my good friend Josh who inspired me last night during our FaceTime check in call, to journal. I needed it. I felt stuck in my head laying down a foldable sleeping pad that my aunt lent me, in my studio apartment.