The exhaustion is real. Fatigue? Burnout? Whatever it is, I'm feeling it full force. Day in and day out, I'm basically on autopilot. I work, I shut down, only to resume work again. Rinse and repeat. Every so often I forget I'm an actual human being, and not some soulless robot. I've gotten to the point of questioning reality itself. Did I fall into the wrong timeline? Are we in a simulation? Why haven't the aliens invaded yet? Ok that last part was a little out there, but you get the idea. Life just feels a little crazy right now. The tension --the pressure is thick in the air. So thick it's suffocating.

Is the world truly devolving? or is it the result of a weak foundation just beginning to crumble? Either way, from my perspective, the future's not looking so bright. It's as if a wall has been built around us with no chance of escape. No way to break through it nor overcome it. Just trapped in the same place you started. There is a sense of hopelessness I've been feeling lately. Powerless. Useless to make a difference in the world we live in. I want things to change for the better, but I'm so tired. Tired of the nonsense and rhetoric being pushed on a daily basis. How to think. What to think.

Now, this doesn't mean there aren't moments of relief. I do find ways to mitigate some of the stress I deal with. Van life and gardening videos are my small pockets of joy. Watching people traveling and just living in nature is my comfort place. It's everything I wish I had the bravery to do; drop everything and just..leave. Explore. Urban farming; growing their food resource in their backyard. People like this give me hope that maybe things will change and get better.

..or maybe I just need some sleep.