Ever since I was young, I’ve had this habit where I’d find a song either one I loved completely from start to finish or one with a specific part that triggered an overwhelming rush of "yes i love this" I’d listen to that song on repeat over and over and over losing all sense of rationality. Hours would pass as I looped it nonstop blasting the song full volume in my headphones. This would go on for a day or two until, eventually, I’d taper off and begin incorporating other songs in the mix.
Just the other month, I was listening to a song I’d truly done a number on - no exaggeration, I had played it for hours + and like anything overindulged I could feel the high begin to fade. I remember thinking "this song sounds tired" I knew the song couldn’t actually be tired, but that’s genuinely how it felt to me. It reminded me of the first episode of Love, Death & Robots Season 4 episode 1 "Can’t Stop" where the Red Hot Chili Peppers perform endlessly, day in and day out, trapped in repetition. That’s how I imagined the song feeling exhausted and drained. Even though I know a song doesn’t have thoughts or emotions in that moment it felt like it did.
By the way, as I write this, I’m currently binging Wrasse by Oxis.
https://open.spotify.com/track/4BQvd7QwBPxeK8zC24KZ6S?si=5a4b10f005bf4ef0
Anyway, the whole point of this isn’t just about how some of us obsessively replay songs. What really shifted things for me was a playlist style a friend introduced me to back in high school. Each month, she’d make a playlist not curated around a mood, genre, or theme, but just a monthly collection of songs she discovered, rediscovered, or became obsessed with. It was like a musical diary. She’d throw in anything she was listening to that month, and the result was this diary-like musical snapshot of her life.
I loved the idea and started doing it myself. It felt so freeing to create these hodgepodge mixes beautifully messy and unfiltered. Now, I have playlists for each month going back years. For example, I have six different April playlists, each tied to a specific year. Listening to them is like flipping through an old journal. Certain songs transport me right back to those moments. I can almost taste the, feel the weather, and time-travel through these deeply somatic memories. It's wild how music holds that kind of power.
And for the last year, my partner has collaborated with me to create these monthly playlists
<3 Below are the first 10 songs from each month this year:
