today’s january 15

usually by this time i’ve forgotten all of my thirty-six resolutions and my vision board has gotten buried under the pile of books i’ve been meaning to read. 

i figured a decade was a long enough time to rinse-repeat every january, so this year i have only one resolution.

i used to be in my cegep’s crosscountry team. on sundays we’d do our conditioning in the school’s gym and then we’d run in the freezing cold divided into our 3 pace groups. i always made sure to be at least fast enough to be with my friends, two tiny brunette twins. that was my favorite part, not so much the competition, so i quit before race season started. i think i liked the structure and the not having to take any decisions of it all.

i haven’t run consistently since.

my resolution this winter is simple (but firm) : every run has to end with something left in the tank.

intellectually i know that progress doesn’t come from doing the thing intensely for five weeks and then “misplacing” my shoes for the next three months. i want to get better at setting myself up for doing the thing over time. get good at showing up to the thing first and i'll get good at doing the thing later.

obviously i would progress faster by going 110% every time (and god knows i have tried), but unfortunately/fortunately i am no longer seventeen and jobless. 

when you think about it, i've got nothing but time.

wish me luck.