It was not my week.

I was on the verge of collapse-- willing to throw away everything I had worked so hard to achieve up to this point. I just felt so overwhelmed, more than usual. Each obligation, a responsibility, kept piling on, one after the other. I felt like I never had room to breathe. I was being swallowed alive. I cried, screamed into my pillow (like a child), and carried on like nothing. In the end, I refused to give up, but I didn't feel any better afterward. No, instead, I felt something else-- something indescribable. I hesitate to call it depression. The best way I could describe it is feeling everything and nothing at all. There was a hint of sadness and frustration, but also a sense of neutrality-- with a trace of indifference. Out of all of these, the most pervasive feeling was exhaustion.

However, it wasn't all bad.

I've been volunteering at this botanical garden for about 3-4 weeks now. So far, the experience has been both fascinating and insightful. My only complaint is that I'm not there long enough. I spend an hour (one day a week) learning and helping maintain this little oasis. I learned how to grow and nurture seedlings as well as water a wide range of plants around the garden. On the surface, the work seems so tedious-- prepping the soil or weighing the seeds. Yet, I loved every part of it. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I fit in. Everything just came naturally to me-- save for a few mistakes here and there.

Yet, the best part was seeing that work come to fruition.

I got the opportunity to see how the seeds I helped plant the week before were progressing. They'd all sprouted-- tall, healthy, and strong. Under careful guidance and patience-- I managed to create something beautiful. For once, it felt good doing something that wasn't self-serving. It felt rewarding.

Suddenly, everything I'd been feeling throughout the week didn't seem as bad as before.

Alas, the week went on, but it was slightly more workable, or I think more productive is a better description. I managed to get everything done on time-- granted, the quality might not have been up to par, but still, I gave it my all (better to try my best than do nothing). I think my experience at the botanical garden was the boost I needed to get through the rest of the week. Just as seeds require care and patience, I need to allow myself time to grow and thrive. The experience continues to be fulfilling, and it's what I look forward to each week—at the same time, preparing for the pressure-filled work ahead.

I'm considering sharing some of my experiences with you each week. Maybe take a few photos of some of the work I'm doing out there—just a thought.

What's the worst week you've experienced? How do you cope/manage during a bad week? Do you volunteer or have any hobbies?

I also wanted to take the time to thank everyone for their feedback/messages on my previous post. I appreciate and read every comment. Reading each of your perspectives and personal obstacles was very insightful and comforting.

Thank you! <3