I really think some people just aren’t made for the 9–5 life. And some people is me. I’m only three weeks into my internship, and it already feels like half my soul has gone missing. Not necessarily in a bad way, but… yeah. The company is great, the people are great — I honestly have nothing to complain about. Maybe that’s exactly the problem.

Every morning, I wake up at 6 to catch the 7:14 bus, only to sit and wait until 9 for my colleagues to open the door. It’s not the commute that bothers me — I’m used to that. It’s the routine. Every day I sit behind this desk, just counting the hours until it’s over.

I don’t have any important tasks. I don’t feel important — and my body knows it too. I stare at the screen until my eyes ache. I start to feel nauseous. By the end of the day, my brain is fried and I just want to sleep. I close my eyes, and when I open them again, it feels like only five minutes have passed — and the whole cycle starts over.

I know I can’t really complain — it hasn’t been that long since I started this internship. I still have five months to go.

But I keep wondering what I’m doing wrong. This isn’t what I want to do. I see so many people my age doing what they love, and I start asking myself if I’m living too safely — too afraid of change.

The good thing is that, for once, I can actually write. Maybe it’s just because I have nothing to do, so my mind starts wandering to all sorts of things. Funny, right? I’m not even writing this blog in one go. It’s a new day now, so we’ll see how it goes. All I know is that my body aches — not from anything physical, but because mentally, I’m just not in the right place.