Understanding someone requires flexibility in perspective, we must hold space for nuance and grace to truly see them, even when we disagree. Respecting someone despite their flaws, since we are all imperfect, is the baseline for love. In romantic love, emotional intelligence acts as a tool belt, enabling each partner to communicate and listen, especially when things feel at odds. These relationships reveal the most vulnerable aspects of the self, where being seen and respected matters most. Reciprocity at this level reveals each person’s heart and truest intent. You can love someone, understand them, and still be incompatible.

If that’s true, how should we apply this when considering a future partner? Should we look first for compatibility and mutual respect, allowing love to emerge as a result rather than the starting point?