icymi: i'm the oldest of three sisters — me, essie, and cj.
essie lives in korea now and cj lives in montreal. essie moved to seoul over a year ago. this is my first time back in korea in sixteen years and also my first time visiting her. i stayed with her for almost two weeks.
over the years, essie has stayed with me in different apartments and different cities — montreal, vancouver, halifax. i never really thought of it as “hosting.” we’re family, and i’ve always been the oldest sister. but i’d be lying if i said it was always easy or conflict-free. hosting takes time, energy, and care. sharing your space means extending something that belongs to you to someone else.
i’ve hosted and been hosted enough to know that some people do certain things naturally and some things just get missed. a handwritten welcome note. slippers ready by the door. an extra toothbrush. the bed is made. instructions on how to turn the shower on. a charger is ready to go. hosting isn’t about having a big space or a guest room — it’s about taking you to a café they know you’ll love. remembering something you mentioned wanting to do, and navigating google maps to get you there.
you feel at home even though you miss your own bed. a home-cooked meal. coffee first thing in the morning. you don’t feel like a nuisance. you clean up after yourself even though they say don’t worry about it. they tell you you’re welcome back anytime, and you believe them.
this is the first time essie has hosted me. she lives in a small studio apartment — perfect for one, tight for two. but she emptied out a cubby for me, made space for my clothes, and met me outside when i arrived. she slept on the ground and let me take the bed. it’s the first time i’ve been hosted by my sister in a space she made her own, in a city she knows better than i do.
today, my time at her place comes to an end. taylor just arrived in korea, and i’ll be staying with him for the rest of my trip.
i’ll always find it meaningful that my little sister hosted me so perfectly on my first time back in korea. thank you, my sweet girl.
camera notes from today.
monday december 1, 2025
i love you essie... from, your 언니