hours before i shaved my head i walked into the market, the man said, “you are a girl? you are a boy? you are a boy with the face of a girl!” then i went back to the monastery and asked luca to film me cutting off my braids then i went to sitaram, and paid him to cut it all off, with a knife and a cup of water. isaiah filmed it, in front of the bicycle next to the chickens.