recently I spoke to my partners younger brother who at age 14 recently broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years.
The reason for their break-up being she had started liking another boy. He had only found out because that other boy had shown him the messages between them two.

This was heart breaking to hear that someone I deeply cared for had been hurt this way, that someone they trusted, one of his first romantic connections, had lied to him.
You can easily look at his experience as juvenile or naive, even describing it as character development or a canon event. And though I can agree with the reality of immaturity in adolescent relationships I can see this was a pivotal moment for him. In him I saw the carefreeness of youth that enables heartbreak to hurt all the more.

When describing how he felt he says, "I feel like it was a waste of my time"

A sentiment we've all felt or thought of. His vulnerability struck me profoundly and made me extremely sad. Her betrayal had made him feel as if his time with her had been a waste. Instantly I got flashbacks of all the times I said those exact words about past situationships, friendships, etc. I emphasized with him completely.

And me trying to be a good ate (filipino word for older sister) I told him that though he did not deserve to be lied to, especially by someone he trusted and liked, loving someone would never be a waste. (Though the obvious and very important exception to this are abusive relationships. Abuse is not love and thus operates in a completely different "criteria" in which meaningful connection cannot exist.) There's this dialogue from Call Me By Your Name (2017) that shaped by perspective on this completely.

"Right now you may not want to feel anything. Perhaps you never wished to feel anything. [...] Look - you had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you.[...] if there is pain, nurse it. And if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out. Don’t be brutal with it. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste!"

Whenever I'm in a place of deep regret and disappointment for even giving someone the time of day, I carry these words in the back of my mind. You can always cuss that person out, tear them down in your head to strip them of any power they held over you or even swear to never trust again. But at the end of the day if you had shown another person love, expressed yourself in whole authentically and honestly, and most importantly learned and grew from it, in what way is that a waste?

Time passes and you realize you don't remember the last time you saw your friend from school the one you swore you'd be close to forever. Crushes feel boring and futile as the world becomes less and less romantic. Seeing friends feels like an endless series of "catch-ups". And genuine sparks become increasingly rare as you'd wish to feel something, anything, then nothing at all. Anyways that's more of my pessimism talking. But the reality of our capitalist society is that we're forced to prioritize efficiency and production over connection and even using the word "waste" implies love is quantifiable.

So why shy away from these feelings of angst and agony? Why deny ourselves the full range of emotions humanity grants us? Why allow another person to diminish your possibilities of genuine love? That of which are endless.